Listen Up

   Hello there, yours truly, Desmond, here. I realized something last night that I've always hated but never really talked about. Now, when I say "always hated" I mean from every depth of my soul, with every inch of my moral being I cannot stand being called cutesy names by waitresses or the like. What do I mean, you ask? Well say you sit down to get, what you hope, is a non-confrontational, easy, tasty meal and you get that jovial waitress who utters the "whahht can Iuh git ya, Hun?" Hun can be substituted by honey, sweetie, baby, cutie, etc (basically nouns with "ie" at the end) and it just makes me want to declare marshal law and let everyone know the following: I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING SWEETIE, NOR BABY, NOR 'HUNNY'. I'm not even part of your FUCKING FAMILY. So don't you treat me like that, Doris.

A still from some fucking show called "Lie To Me" from an episode title named "Honey" (no joke) See how pissed that guy is?

   All I want are some baby back ribs and a coke, not to be lambasted with your need to talk down your nose and make yourself better than me because I'm literally shorter than you while in a booth. You're an asshole.
-Desmond.